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One Degree Hotter 'N' Hell
by John Albright
January 2001
Martin Penny, Steve Thomas and I went to Wichita Falls, Texas the last
weekend in August to ride the HotterNHell Hundred. Ill cut to the chase
and tell you it lived up to its name; it was 111 degrees and
we had a 20 mph headwind, with gusts, for half of the course. The
temperature was confirmed by a bank clock near Burkburnett, TX. We left Wednesday
afternoon in 2 vehicles and spent the night in Longview, TX. We got to Wichita Falls
Thursday afternoon just after the consumer show opened. There were several deals to be
found, like Carnac carbon shoes for $60, and Cinelli bar tape for $8; we filled a sack
apiece. Airborne Ti Bicycles were there making some nice deals on great looking bikes. If
youre looking for a Ti bike (road or mountain) dont overlook these guys, the
workmanship is superb. We met a man from Knoxville that works in Cleveland trying to
wheedle a jersey with the bike. Steve offered to haul his new bike home and meet him in
Cleveland with it. Wonder why he didnt trust us with his new $1800 Ti bike?
The weekend included a Pro, 1, 2 criterium on Friday, the 100 mile race
on Saturday and a Time Trial on Sunday. The Crit started at 6PM with the air temp at 108
and the temperature just off the pavement was announced to be 124. This was the first crit
Id seen and I was surprised at how slowly they started. I was expecting an Indy
style start. It ran for 75 minutes (it WAS 108 degrees) and was very exciting. There were
2 crashes in front of me resembling NASCAR pile-ups. The worst one had bikes sliding
everywhere and the first guy down curled up in the street vainly trying not to get run
over. He looked like ruined steak on Saturday!
Friday night included an all you can eat spaghetti dinner to get us
fueled for the "Hundred". We awoke about dawn Saturday morning, got dressed, ate
and rode the 3 miles to the Start/Finish Line. At 6 AM Saturday it was 81 degrees; it had
been 76 degrees at 9 AM the previous morning. None of us realized what that really meant.
The Pro, 1, 2 racers lined up first, Tandems one block back, 100 milers 3 blocks back,
Metric riders, 5 blocks back and so on staged according to how far you were going. There
were just over 8000 riders this year. Near Martin, Steve and I were 2 guys in black and
white spotted jerseys with helmet covers that had horns, ears and ear tags (never mind
that jerseys arent spotted). Several other riders were decorated as well. One guy
was pulling a trailer with a ghetto blaster playing country music. He sort of kept a
rolling party along the 100 mile route.
The mass start went very smoothly, if slow at first, but the first
accident occurred around mile 4. An older gentleman went down and "traffic" was
stopped to get him across the road to the ambulance. Just in front of me and Steve, some
guy wasnt looking and locked both wheels to keep from hitting somebody else. Well,
he plopped down on his right side like a "Laugh-In" skit, Steve veered across my
path and I cleaned out the ditch! Somehow, I managed to get back on the road without
falling off or flatting. The sag stops were spaced at 10 mile intervals and I skipped the
first 2 and stopped at the 30 mile stop. It was the "Best Little Rest Stop in
Texas". I talked to a man that recognized my CBC jersey and knew Richard Rice. It was
around this stop that I noticed there werent any bugs out and the grasshoppers were
not buzzing anymore. That should have been a clue. All along the route, until nearly noon
people were sitting by the road in chairs watching and waving. We passed a golf course
between mile 30 and 40. The golf nuts sat in their carts and watched us go by with the
look of Hereford cattle watching cars. "Dont those idiots know its too
hot to be playing golf in this weather?"
Steve and I stopped together at the mile 40 stop and nice women met us
at the road and stood in the hot sun holding our bikes while we got a drink in the shade!
Its been said by a clearly impartial former Texan that Texas has some mighty pretty
women. In addition to the normal bananas and cookies, the mile 50 stop served hotdogs and
hamburgers with all of the trimmings. Plus, in order to get to the food, you had to walk
past two industrial fans with kids spraying water through them. I made several trips. No
sooner than youd climbed off your bike, you were met by folks just delighted to fill
up what ever you carried with ice water or iced, paddle-stirred sports drink. Since I
always crave real food about this time in a long ride that hotdog tasted really good.
Steve and I talked to the Ride Director at mile 50; he told us only 17 people had
to have IV fluids last year, but the year before it was 117! This year had the worst wind
in 7 years! At each stop there was a medical tent with a real doctor. At every medical
tent after mile 30 there were 6 or more people lying on cots being treated for heat.
Just before the mile 60 stop, my bike computer said it was 111 degrees.
I couldnt believe that, I thought it was just the heat getting to it. I had lots of
white, crusty stuff on my shorts and jersey, but I wasnt sweating all that hard, was
I? The humidity was 25% that day and the wind dried sweat in a hurry. At mile 60,
theyd set up a shower head hooked to a hose. Right then, nothing could have felt
that good. As was custom, we were met with pitchers of iced drinks and I filled up my
Camelbak and a water bottle with ice water. We began to talk to a few other riders as the
sag wagon pulled out with about 12 riders. I decided to leave mile 60 and ride to the next
rest stop and maybe sag out there. Well, I got to the next rest stop feeling pretty good.
Still doing well and after another cool shower, I fell in with 3 Texans from Austin and we
rode the last 10 miles together. One of the men was riding a 2000 Peugeot. He had a friend
in France ship him the frame and he built it with Campy Chorus and Hugi parts.
The route took us through Shepard AFB and down the flight line. That
was a real treat for a pilot and airplane nut like me. There were a dozen or so airmen
(and women) directing us through the base. For some reason, they acted pleased to be
standing there in the hot sun directing bicycles. I wonder what they would have been
doing? There were F-16s and C-130s scattered around the terminal like 737s would be in
Memphis or Atlanta. On the other side of the taxiway was Flight 7 of the Thunderbirds! I
yelled to thick necked, no body fat Tech Sergeant that hed have to wipe my drool off
Flight 7; he seemed amused. The last sag stop was on the AFB. Most of it looks like a
college campus and the sag was in the older section. They had another shower, but that
wasnt good enough anymore. I was now reduced to pouring ice water through the holes
in my helmet to cool off! The bad part was it only worked for a couple of minutes! The
Finish Line was only 5 miles away, I figured I could stand 5 miles of anything, but when I
got there I still had 3 more miles, and I was so tired and hot I had to ask directions. I
couldnt remember the way back to the motel!
Martin saw one of the ice delivery trucks; it was an 18-wheeler. One
official later informed me they bought 109,200 pounds of ice. They provided about 20,000
bananas, 9,000 oranges, 5,000 gallons of sports drink, 10,000 gallons of water for
drinking and 100 port-a-johns. We had the opportunity to eat real Mexican food, too. As
good as Cancun Restaurant in Chattanooga is, its not the same. Im still sorry
I didnt get any so called "real" bar-b-que. I was sure wanting some. I
also wanted to see how in the world beef could be made into bar-b-que. Maybe next time!
There will be a next time, too; possibly in 2002. It took me about 4 days to get to that
decision. Before that, I just didnt know. When we go again, wed be happy to
take anybody else from CBC with us.
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