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One Degree Hotter 'N' Hell

by John Albright

January 2001

Martin Penny, Steve Thomas and I went to Wichita Falls, Texas the last weekend in August to ride the Hotter’N’Hell Hundred. I’ll cut to the chase and tell you it lived up to its name; it was 111 degrees and we had a 20 mph headwind, with gusts, for half of the course. The temperature was confirmed by a bank clock near Burkburnett, TX. We left Wednesday afternoon in 2 vehicles and spent the night in Longview, TX. We got to Wichita Falls Thursday afternoon just after the consumer show opened. There were several deals to be found, like Carnac carbon shoes for $60, and Cinelli bar tape for $8; we filled a sack apiece. Airborne Ti Bicycles were there making some nice deals on great looking bikes. If you’re looking for a Ti bike (road or mountain) don’t overlook these guys, the workmanship is superb. We met a man from Knoxville that works in Cleveland trying to wheedle a jersey with the bike. Steve offered to haul his new bike home and meet him in Cleveland with it. Wonder why he didn’t trust us with his new $1800 Ti bike?

The weekend included a Pro, 1, 2 criterium on Friday, the 100 mile race on Saturday and a Time Trial on Sunday. The Crit started at 6PM with the air temp at 108 and the temperature just off the pavement was announced to be 124. This was the first crit I’d seen and I was surprised at how slowly they started. I was expecting an Indy style start. It ran for 75 minutes (it WAS 108 degrees) and was very exciting. There were 2 crashes in front of me resembling NASCAR pile-ups. The worst one had bikes sliding everywhere and the first guy down curled up in the street vainly trying not to get run over. He looked like ruined steak on Saturday!

Friday night included an all you can eat spaghetti dinner to get us fueled for the "Hundred". We awoke about dawn Saturday morning, got dressed, ate and rode the 3 miles to the Start/Finish Line. At 6 AM Saturday it was 81 degrees; it had been 76 degrees at 9 AM the previous morning. None of us realized what that really meant. The Pro, 1, 2 racers lined up first, Tandems one block back, 100 milers 3 blocks back, Metric riders, 5 blocks back and so on staged according to how far you were going. There were just over 8000 riders this year. Near Martin, Steve and I were 2 guys in black and white spotted jerseys with helmet covers that had horns, ears and ear tags (never mind that jerseys aren’t spotted). Several other riders were decorated as well. One guy was pulling a trailer with a ghetto blaster playing country music. He sort of kept a rolling party along the 100 mile route.

The mass start went very smoothly, if slow at first, but the first accident occurred around mile 4. An older gentleman went down and "traffic" was stopped to get him across the road to the ambulance. Just in front of me and Steve, some guy wasn’t looking and locked both wheels to keep from hitting somebody else. Well, he plopped down on his right side like a "Laugh-In" skit, Steve veered across my path and I cleaned out the ditch! Somehow, I managed to get back on the road without falling off or flatting. The sag stops were spaced at 10 mile intervals and I skipped the first 2 and stopped at the 30 mile stop. It was the "Best Little Rest Stop in Texas". I talked to a man that recognized my CBC jersey and knew Richard Rice. It was around this stop that I noticed there weren’t any bugs out and the grasshoppers were not buzzing anymore. That should have been a clue. All along the route, until nearly noon people were sitting by the road in chairs watching and waving. We passed a golf course between mile 30 and 40. The golf nuts sat in their carts and watched us go by with the look of Hereford cattle watching cars. "Don’t those idiots know it’s too hot to be playing golf in this weather?"

Steve and I stopped together at the mile 40 stop and nice women met us at the road and stood in the hot sun holding our bikes while we got a drink in the shade! It’s been said by a clearly impartial former Texan that Texas has some mighty pretty women. In addition to the normal bananas and cookies, the mile 50 stop served hotdogs and hamburgers with all of the trimmings. Plus, in order to get to the food, you had to walk past two industrial fans with kids spraying water through them. I made several trips. No sooner than you’d climbed off your bike, you were met by folks just delighted to fill up what ever you carried with ice water or iced, paddle-stirred sports drink. Since I always crave real food about this time in a long ride that hotdog tasted really good. Steve and I talked to the Ride Director at mile 50; he told us only 17 people had to have IV fluids last year, but the year before it was 117! This year had the worst wind in 7 years! At each stop there was a medical tent with a real doctor. At every medical tent after mile 30 there were 6 or more people lying on cots being treated for heat.

Just before the mile 60 stop, my bike computer said it was 111 degrees. I couldn’t believe that, I thought it was just the heat getting to it. I had lots of white, crusty stuff on my shorts and jersey, but I wasn’t sweating all that hard, was I? The humidity was 25% that day and the wind dried sweat in a hurry. At mile 60, they’d set up a shower head hooked to a hose. Right then, nothing could have felt that good. As was custom, we were met with pitchers of iced drinks and I filled up my Camelbak and a water bottle with ice water. We began to talk to a few other riders as the sag wagon pulled out with about 12 riders. I decided to leave mile 60 and ride to the next rest stop and maybe sag out there. Well, I got to the next rest stop feeling pretty good. Still doing well and after another cool shower, I fell in with 3 Texans from Austin and we rode the last 10 miles together. One of the men was riding a 2000 Peugeot. He had a friend in France ship him the frame and he built it with Campy Chorus and Hugi parts.

The route took us through Shepard AFB and down the flight line. That was a real treat for a pilot and airplane nut like me. There were a dozen or so airmen (and women) directing us through the base. For some reason, they acted pleased to be standing there in the hot sun directing bicycles. I wonder what they would have been doing? There were F-16s and C-130s scattered around the terminal like 737s would be in Memphis or Atlanta. On the other side of the taxiway was Flight 7 of the Thunderbirds! I yelled to thick necked, no body fat Tech Sergeant that he’d have to wipe my drool off Flight 7; he seemed amused. The last sag stop was on the AFB. Most of it looks like a college campus and the sag was in the older section. They had another shower, but that wasn’t good enough anymore. I was now reduced to pouring ice water through the holes in my helmet to cool off! The bad part was it only worked for a couple of minutes! The Finish Line was only 5 miles away, I figured I could stand 5 miles of anything, but when I got there I still had 3 more miles, and I was so tired and hot I had to ask directions. I couldn’t remember the way back to the motel!

Martin saw one of the ice delivery trucks; it was an 18-wheeler. One official later informed me they bought 109,200 pounds of ice. They provided about 20,000 bananas, 9,000 oranges, 5,000 gallons of sports drink, 10,000 gallons of water for drinking and 100 port-a-johns. We had the opportunity to eat real Mexican food, too. As good as Cancun Restaurant in Chattanooga is, it’s not the same. I’m still sorry I didn’t get any so called "real" bar-b-que. I was sure wanting some. I also wanted to see how in the world beef could be made into bar-b-que. Maybe next time! There will be a next time, too; possibly in 2002. It took me about 4 days to get to that decision. Before that, I just didn’t know. When we go again, we’d be happy to take anybody else from CBC with us.

 

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